ADELE HAS BLESSED US WITH HER RETURN

Around midnight last night I had a heart attack.

My queen, Adele, has released the music video for her single “Hello”. It is amazing, to say the very least. It has garnered over 48,000,000 views in the last two days! It is a masterpiece, directed by my favourite director on the planet: Xavier Dolan. It’s no wonder the visuals match the song itself so perfectly.

I honestly cannot form words at the moment, but here it is:

Watch it and weep with joy.

Child Dreams in Code While I Dream of Dreaming in Code

So here’s something that both inspired me and slightly depressed me. As someone who’s only begun coding a couple of months ago, fourteen-year-old Santiago Gonzalez makes me look like I’m barely making it through my ABC’s.

Nonetheless, this is a kickass video, kudos to you kid.

Is Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” Feminist?

So by now most of you have seen Nicki Minaj’s music video Anaconda. Reactions I’ve heard to the video were predominantly shock, disgust and offense. I’m not even a Barb but I love it, and I’ll tell you why.

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Anaconda made me realise how much of an empowering feminist Nicki really is. Don’t see it? Let me break it down.

The song samples Sir Mix-A-Lot’s Grammy Award-winning song Baby Got Back. That song itself is pretty exploitative and talks about how he’s only into chicks with plump posteriors and that his “Anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun”. The song is rooted in booty politics, which discuss the idea that women’s bodies are mere pleasure for the male gaze.

 

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Think of Anaconda as a satire parody of Baby Got Back, because Nicki included butt-slapping, gyrating and booty-hopping, all of which were in the original video, but does it almost to tease the male gaze. How is she teasing you ask? Well, that cocktail bar scene stands out for me. Where she’s wearing a revealing maid’s outfit, spraying whipped cream on her boobies, twerking, licking the cream seductively and finally a banana appears. She takes the banana, makes it seem like she’s going to eat it alluringly (like most cliché woman-eats-a-banana-and-makes-a-guy-hard gags), but instead she rips the banana in two, cuts it up into little pieces, and throws it over her shoulder. Now people, if that doesn’t strike you as a powerful statement then I don’t know what does. She’s basically taking the male gaze and literally chopping it up and tossing it. She does the same thing in her song Lookin Ass, which I thought was genius. She literally grabs machine guns and destroys the male gaze.

 

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Then Drake shows up. What was his purpose in the video? He sits there, having a good time while Nicki gives him a show-stopping, blood-pumping lap dance. So for a while we think he’s got the upper hand. But look closely. Drake is a prop. He doesn’t drop any bars, his clothes are pretty low-key and there’s never attention to his face. He’s just there to have Nicki’s bum up all in his grill. What gives it 500 times more volume is that they didn’t pick just any model off the street for that scene; they casted Drizzy, who’s an established rapper and has probably taken part in booty politics himself.

 

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So Nicki’s getting him all excited, but he can’t get too enthusiastic ‘cause as soon as he tries to touch, Nicki swats his hand and walks away off-screen like a BOSS. She’s in charge, she ain’t havin’ your anaconda and she got buns, hun!

 

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Is Anaconda part of the feminist movement? I think so. Is it flawed? Definitely.  Issues like skinny-shaming are included in the song, but that’s a discussion for another day. Does it make a powerful statement against the way women are portrayed in the media, and more specifically the music industry? Absolutely.

What do you think? Let me know in the comment section.

 

THE FIRE CHALLENGE!

Happy Hump Day,

Ever heard of the condom challenge? Yeah, this is like that but worse.

So there’s a new, hip, challenge that all the kids are doing nowadays!

Lately I’ve been thinking that challenges on YouTube are getting out of hand. I first heard of the Fire Challenge when Shane Dawson mentioned it in his video appropriately titled THE FIRE CHALLENGE. You might be thinking that there is no such thing as a fire challenge. Let me assure you, it’s real.

This is how it goes: an individual douses him or herself in alcohol and then proceeds to set him or herself on fire.

 

Most people that are talking about this topic are saying that people are lighting themselves on fire to gain celebrity. I can see how that could be. It’s just something I would not recommend. There are just too many consequences. Fire burns. That seems like an obvious statement to you, but to some it seems to dwell only at the back of some people’s minds.

So many teens have been burnt badly through attempting this challenge.

I hate to admit it, but my generation is really not proving to be the most intelligent. I mean, I’m not excluding myself but damn, lighting ourselves on fire? Seriously?

Here’s one of the more famous videos of this horrible challenge:

Apparently that kid’s mother, Janie Talley, was arrested and will appear in court in October.

You know what? I’m just going to end the discussion there. This is driving me crazy, I’m afraid I’ll say something stupid. Let me leave you with this video to get the full picture of what’s going on.

As always, stay fresh!

 

 

 

YOUTUBER OF THE WEEK: MALIS TGLR

First and foremost, if you’re a curvy, thick, big-boned (or what have you) girl like me, you’re going to adore this week’s Youtuber Of The Week. In fact, after watching the video I’m about to talk about, you’re going to join the long line of women queuing to marry him. Now that that’s been said, let’s get right to it. Malis     Malis Tglr everybody! And, to be honest, I discovered him quite arbitrarily and completely by chance. I was in the middle of being traumatised by my first HowToBasic video (side note: I am in dire need of venting all of my raging emotions for the lawlessness of HowToBasic videos, but more on this later, I need a whole segment for that!) when I glanced at the sidebar and saw an intriguing title:                                                                                                

                                                                                               “I Love Me A Big Girl” 

And before I even saw the video, no, before I even clicked on the video, I loved it. Yes, I know that’s somewhat narcissistic of me, but you’re gonna have to cut me some slack. My thick sisters and brothers: you feel me.

So, I clicked on the video. I watched it. I laughed. It ended. I pressed reply. I watched it again. I pressed replay. Wash, rinse and repeat this about five or six times. Let me tell you why I loved it so much and why Malis is my YouTuber of the Week.

1) He didn’t say the words “fat” & “thick”  like they were curse words.

2) His laugh.

3) He gave multiple reasons for why he likes chubby girls when, in all honesty, he only needed to tell us one. I mean, I am pleasantly elated that he enlightened me that there’s a whole sea full of fish that go for the fish other fish swim away from. Did that analogy make any sense?

4) He was straightforward.

5) His laugh.

6) This phrase: “Are you f*cking retardedly stupidly dumb?” (you’ll get it when you watch the video)

7) His laugh.

8) This phrase: “A big girl will make you feel loved”

9) He didn’t skinny-shame.

10) He was genuinely funny.

 

Honestly, there are a few things he said that I don’t like, and I would specify but I don’t want to ruin the magic for you. It’s just nice to hear, from a man’s perspective, that us thicker girls aren’t the ugly, incompatible, cat-ladies we make ourselves out to be. And yes, I know this is just one man’s opinion. But if one person can have the capacity to feel and think this way, then it at least gives us hope that there are more out there kind of like him. I’d certainly like to think so.

As always, stay fresh.